I couldn’t write this year. Not much, anyway. Not outside of copywriting, my work. And even that had many unfocused, brain-wandering, challenging moments.
The ideas came, but I couldn’t get them from my head to the page. I would sit in a steaming bath, sometimes with a whiskey, sometimes without, often in the afternoon, mainly in the night, and feel sentences parading through my head. They wore feathers and sequins and tuxedo jackets, and screamed for attention. Look, don’t touch. Want me, you can’t have me. They sidestepped my butterfly net. I never caught them. And they always swirled down the drain with the lukewarm water. My mind was a blank sheet of paper as soon as I stepped from the tub. Oh well.
As writing was playing hard to get, I turned towards books. Before this mixed-up, uncertain, slow-down year, I hadn’t been reading books nearly as much as I would have liked. I maybe got through one a month. Sure, I read… Twitter feeds and WebMD and emails and essays and breaking news and quotes from goodreads and all that other stuff that can clog your pores or spoil your brain or offer a quick fix. But books are different. And this year, they removed me from a pandemic and dropped me into somewhere, sometime, someone else.
Now I have a rapacious hunger that hasn’t surfaced since… well, I can’t remember… maybe since the Babysitter Club / Sweet Valley High / VC Andrews days. A long time. The 90s. Not to gloat (okay, maybe a little), but I’m reading three or four books a month now. Something to celebrate in an otherwise upside-down year.
In case you’re also feeling the pull to books and you’re looking for a spine to crack, here are the stories I read, from January to December, 2020. I omitted the handful I had to abandon, listening to that old adage about not wasting your time on a book you’re not into. Was that Oscar Wilde? Maybe.
I liked all of these, but I put a little * next to the ones that really made an impression — I’m still thinking about them. I hope you enjoy one or a few…
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
Spy in the House of Anais Nin by Kim Krizan
Your Voice in my Head by Emma Forrest*
The Quiet American by Graham Greene
The Etymologicon: A Circular Stroll Through the Hidden Connections of the English Language by Mark Forsyth
Writers & Lovers by Lily King*
My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Ottessa Moshfegh
Notes from a Small Island by Bill Bryson
Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng
Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton
Normal People by Sally Rooney*
Silver Sparrow by Tayari Jones*
Sloughing Towards Bethlehem by Joan Didion
Stray by Stephanie Danler*
The Lady’s Handbook for Her Mysterious Illness by Sarah Ramey*
The Trip to Echo Spring: On Writers and Drinking by Olivia Laing
Consider This: Moments in My Writing Life After Which Everything Was Different by Chuck Palahniuk
Untamed by Glennon Doyle*
On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong*
Luster by Raven Leilani*
Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk
The Flamethrowers by Rachel Kushner*
High Fidelity by Nick Hornby
Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain
The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett*
In the Land of Men by Adrienne Miller
In Cold Blood by Truman Capote
The Glass Hotel by Emily St. John Mandel
Things I Don’t Want to Know About by Deborah Levy
The Bridges of Madison County by Robert James Waller*
The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone by Olivia Laing
Topics of Conversation by Miranda Popkey*
I usually post what I’m reading in my Instagram stories, which are saved as highlights at @sandraoco… in case you want to follow what I’m reading in 2021.
Photo: The Portrait Sessions<